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| I cant sleep again , I don't think ill sleep for a while i get a few hours here and there but thats when my body makes me crash. Each time i stay up more time last night i hit 39 hours.
Things are troubling my mind , They cant be dealed with . They are just what is happening
Life is not mysterious .
Life is not something that has to be solved some ask why there children die why there kids
Its how it works in nature
people go
people come
The world is what it is
I feel some times that i am a voyeur in my own life.
when you only have one life, cause you never know the end
u could fade to black , or end up in white . see Jesus , hang with virgins , become a bird , or fly with aliens ,
i don't like to think about where you go just where u are .
For in life it is what we do for others that makes it so
for in life it is are experiences that make us see what is
Running only causes sorrow and regret
staying causes ever lasting pain
FML
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| So i went and saw the princess bride tonight at the Regency, with a few friends. Its extremely annoying to me when my friends try and peer pressure me into things. I know i do it to people but i let up kinda quick most of the time. I mean fuck i am almost 21 years old now and the same guys pressure me about the same thing every time we hang out. Its like i tell them no every god dam time and they spend hours trying to convince me other wise saying that my reasons are stupid. Man ill do that shit when i am ready god's damit .
Anyway Movie was hilarious as i always remember but the projector kept breaking. I was like fuck man i want at least 2 dollars back cause that is how much time they have wasted of my life. I stayed up way to fucking late last night as for some one who is looking for work. I mean i should be one some time schedules each day . Keeping my self in some kind of routine. I need to be more responsible.
Also as i drink this brandy and coke, don't you hate when you forgot you need to buy alchol way after 2 pm. its like fuck i guess i got to drink what no one wants to! What is just sitting around the house with spiders in them or that fucking liquor ( which i am drinking ) that you bought cause you thought it be a good idea but it really was not.
just a thought.
as i trickle more into thought.
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| Wow xanga has fucking changed for the worse what was once a simple blog site has decided to try and adapt every thing from myspace and facebook. its pretty dam funny. What even funnier is how most people have there xanga's friend blocked as is to keep there stories private. Why write a story to not share it with others. I have been coming back to this site every few weeks and wanting to delete some of my old sad depressing uninteresting tales but i dont cause i put those tales out there for the world to see. I am probably ashamed of most of them but fuck it was who i was then .
If you cant be proud of who you are , then you should not ( keep forgetting shouldent is not a word ) tell your story . You need to be proud of yourself in some way like i fucking drink a lot try and match me. Or im the saddest motherfucker on the earth right now cause i experienced love hear my tale.
I always see Xanga as a way to read true tales. I also like to post my own tales.
Im still gonna write in here and i am especially when i get fucking black out like i used to.
Im trying to get black out now but ive ran out of rum and i dont think i should drink the brandy might make tomorrow feel like death.
oww i just found the sheet music i wrote when i was drunk last week gonna go hear what it sounds like lol
i bet its random shit in no key at all.
I
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| So i don't think i have written anything in here in months quiet possibly a year. So a quick update i guess is in order. I live with 4 of my good friends now i a big party house kind of situation. I got laid off a few months back but i had a good amount of money saved up so i just have been coasting. Things seem to be getting more mundane lately. It seems i seeing the same people over and over again seems to get quiet irritating. its just cause they tell the same fucking stories over and fucking over again like its a brand new candy bar. Ive hurd the same story from 5 different people 6 or 7 times.
The other thing is people don't want to go make new stories, they would just like to relish in the old ones.
anyways
Tis time to get my life back on track
starting in a few days when i get over my months of procrastination.
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| I now understand the importance of health insurance.
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